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Finding a Little Piece of Peace – Psychology Today





The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Verified by Psychology Today
Posted August 21, 2022 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
These are unpeaceful times, by all accounts. No more needs to be said about that, but notice if even that one line felt a bit stressful.
Breathe.
Peace is an inner experience as well as an outer possibility. We can neither wait for a peaceful world in order to claim our own inner peace, nor can we find inner peace and ignore the call for peace in the outer world. We can and must hold both: our capacity to create internal experiences of peace and our conscious, willful intention to support peace in our world.
How do we support both? Our inner peace, as we access and live it, will give us strength, resolve, and capacity for our engagement with unpeaceful external realities. And it is always within our power to generate ways of being that offer us inner peace. So, let’s start there.
Peace within. No matter the state of the world at any given moment, we are often the source of the greatest unease. Lying on a beach, on vacation, with everything as we would wish it to be, we are still likely to find ourselves fighting major or minor inner battles. We talk to ourselves, for a start. And by this very nature, we will often find ourselves saying polarizing things, in our own heads, while lying on the beach or sitting in the boardroom. How often does a should/shouldn’t polarity take up space? Want/shouldn’t? Have to/can’t? And on and on. And those may be the easier “wars” we create. Behind them, we are likely to be carrying core beliefs, negative inner assessments of ourselves, old and limiting messages from a lifetime of other people’s injunctions, and more. Ugh. Stopping all that inner conflict is a big task. But we have so many strategies to help us: meditation, therapy, grounding, exercise, consciousness, coaching, connection, and more. And we have an equal number of unhelpful and often unconscious strategies to quell the inner battles: numbing, anger, blaming, hiding, impulsivity, etc. While these “escape” strategies may stop some of the battles, they lay waste to our essential, openhearted, compassionate, and wise capacity to create peace.
Peace at many levels is available to us. Finding it, holding it, and nourishing it is not easy. It is, however, well worth it. Let’s look at a few easy strategies for calming the mind chatter:
It is also powerful to take peace up a notch, beyond the mind chatter and “to-do list” thinking, beyond the anxiety-driven consternation and agitation, beyond any one moment of your life. Take it into its spiritual roots. Think about peace as a quality, an energy, a gift. No matter your spiritual or religious orientation, peace exists as a way of being, or a way of knowing. Seeing a larger vision, noticing that which is peaceful in nature, and elevating our consciousness toward it, all help us find transcendent peace. Accessing this, we will have the opportunity to be both unpeaceful in a difficult moment in our lives, while knowing deeply and without a doubt, that we are held in (and as) peace. Here are a few strategies for this:
A little piece of peace is something we can make happen and it will serve us in our bodies, feelings, and mind. It will serve those we love. It will serve our world. And it is a life’s work: a sweet, important, and quiet piece of peace, one day at a time.
Peace out.
Dorothy Firman, Ed.D., is a psychotherapist and author/editor of many books including Chicken Soup for the Mother & Daughter Soul.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.

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